Re: ANYTHING


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Posted by Spookie on July 31, 1996 at 22:16:44:

In Reply to: ANYTHING posted by THERESA on July 30, 1996 at 16:24:50:

I am a godlike figure, often seen feeding the poor in the midst of
gymnastic sex. I've created an award-winning line of nutritional
supplements for Burger King. I woo women with my sensuous and erotic
manipulation of the kazoo.My one-man imitations of the Three Stooges
have won several Tonys.


I wrote my life story when I was three. I program without a computer
and I cook Two-Minute eggs in 15 seconds. I have won wet t-shirt
contests.

Years ago I discovered the meaning of life accidentally packed
inside a Cracker Jack box, but found it lacking. I introduced
the Cordon Bleu to the toaster oven. I fake orgasms.

I create abstract art with only a xerox machine and make kissy-poo
with my mortal enemies. My haiku versions of TV Guide have earned
me fame in international literary circles.

I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized
UCLA's Political Science building - then decided to give it back.
I have a misdemeanor conviction for breaking the laws of physics.
I play nude racquetball blindfolded.

On weekends, I translate ethnic slurs from the dead sea scrolls.
My sperm is actively traded on the futures markets. I am a 5th
degree black belt in full-contact golf. I finished the Summer
of Love in three days.

I've "seen the lite", been skinny-dipping in Brasil,
and possessed by Liberace. I perform brain surgery without making
an incision. At night, I speak with Elvis.

I've mud wrestled Rambo to a draw; only to lose in the next round
to Dr. Ruth. I spontaneously heal insane butterflies. I've double
parked in the suburbs of paradise; only to get a ticket.

I've edited the Reader's Digest abridged version of the Koran
and won Congressional Approval for interspecies marriages.
I'm a connoisseur of petroleum jelly.

I have contructed psychic networks with tin cans and recycled
felt-tip pens.I rule plant kingdoms with an iron fist;
yet am an outlaw in Gautamala.

My brainstorms often throw me overboard. I use my telepathic powers
only for good. I introduced the 32 cent edible food stamp.


But I have a tendency to spew, random incoherant mutterings.

BTW, I'm a graduate student in Computer Science whose
developing online journals for brain researchers and dancers.




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